Words cannot begin to describe the heaviness my heart has been feeling for the past few days. They say when it rains it pours and Orlando, it seems to be monsoon season. What has happened to you dear Orlando is the stuff of any parent’s worst nightmare and for so many parents, it is not the kind they will wake up from any time soon.
We give our children our unconditional love, our utmost attention and we raise them with our best intentions. Yet still, we cannot keep them safe. Still, we cannot guarantee that tragedy will not strike. Still, we cannot protect them from the world.
So what do we do when the unthinkable happens? To whom to we cry, to whom do we pray and how do we move forward when it seems like time has stopped? When tragedy strikes one parent, it strikes us all and we are all left reeling.
There is a unifying force at play when you become a parent. A nameless, unbreakable parent-club if you will. Everything you experience is different. Everything is changed. When you see the success of others, you are hopeful that your children will experience similar success and happiness. Likewise, when disaster arrives, you pray, please God, not my kids.
I want to turn back the clocks, run into Pulse and say everyone out now! I want to stand by the lagoon and entice a small family from Nebraska away from the lagoon and toward the all-you-can-eat buffet and unlimited games. I want to warn the staff of Plaza Live to be on the lookout for a man packing an arsenal on his person. I want to play god.
Events like these threaten to shatter your faith as a parent. Your faith in love, faith in humanity, faith in peace, even your faith in a higher power is tested. What went wrong? Why couldn’t our parent-club protect them? Why them? Why now? Why ever? I ask these questions and await a response. I listen for a booming voice to tell me it’s all just a crazy dream and that everything is really going to be alright.
But dear Orlando, right now it feels as if it is never going to be alright. Not today. Not tomorrow. Things have changed. Things are different now. In time pieces will be picked up, families will rebuild, the soft glow of memorial candles will dim and fade away. Time will move on but the fact still remains that your lives, our lives, are forever changed.
From one parent to another, I am praying for you. I am praying for mercy and solace. I am praying for comfort for you, for your loved ones and for your lost ones. I am praying that the ever-loving light of peace and love rests on the shoulders of your angels who have gone on before you entirely too soon. Please know, that in your time of unbearable hurt, anger, confusion and sadness that there is an army of parents who is hurting for you, who is crying for you and who is lifting you up in prayer.
You are not alone.