“Take one full day of Sabbath rest each week. This will help you relieve stress and anxiety.”

Yea, sure it would! The problem is: you’re a SAHM (slay at home mom) with small children to wrangle, soccer games to cheer at, PTA meetings to attend, a partner or spouse to attend to, bills to pay, groceries to buy, meals to cook, household chores to complete, aging relatives to care for, maybe even a home-based business to grow and of course homework to help with. And that’s just a few items that are on your mile-long to-do list.

How in the great Land of Lincoln are you supposed to take a full-day of Sabbath rest?!?!

Anyone with me here so far?

Now, let me back up a little bit. This wise word of wisdom was passed along to me from a wonderful, dynamo of a woman who is, in all seriousness, #grownwomangoals for me. Presenting before a group of over forty women during a spiritual retreat, she told us all how critically important it was for our sanity, health and well-being that we take time for ourselves to do things that we enjoyed or simply took time to breathe. She suggested that we each should be getting one full-day of Sabbath rest each week.

Let me repeat. One. Full. Day. Each. Week.

As I sat fuming, thinking what I would give for a whole day, one day every week mind you, all to myself, a friend, who I’m sure could see the steam rising from the top of my head, tapped me on the shoulder and whispered hopefully, “Well, at least maybe a couple hours?”. God must’ve known that I needed that right at that moment because trust me when I tell you I was nanoseconds from leaping from my seat and calling her whole notion a beautiful sham! #notappropriate

When a fellow SAHM raised her hand and politely (and I give her so much credit for maintaining her decorum because remember, I was ‘bout to blow a gasket) asked how she recommended moms get that same weekly Sabbath rest. I was all ears.

Yes, speak to me gracious mother. Tell me how I too can get a weekly Sabbath rest. Seek and ye shall find. I am seeking! Give me the keys to receive the gift of rest!

The speaker proceeded to explain how she would hire a sitter to come and watch her child (her ONE child, who at the time of her example I might add, was already approaching middle school) and go on a day-date with her hubby. She would plan surprise stay-cations that included him calling off his lucrative (and seemingly flexible) job and consisted of trips to the museum or a concert or fine dining restaurant and occasionally ended at a local luxury hotel for a romantic overnight stay (I guess that was an extended Sabbath).

Discouraged to find the keys to the Sabbath rest kingdom were expensive and apparently still out of reach, my friend, once again (thanks God), gently patted me on my shoulder and said, “Let’s talk afterwards, I wouldn’t mind watching your kids for a few hours so you too can get some rest”.

My mind raced, Glory Be! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!

I sat attentive to the remainder of her presentation which included many, many, many invaluable points along with humor, relatable content and powerful moments of self-discovery. Like I said before, this woman is fabulous and I would love to sit through more of her workshops.

I write all this to say that being a SAHM (and no doubt being a working mom is too – been there, done that, resigned from that) is daggone hard.

It’s mickey-fickey-nick-nack-paddy-wack kinda hard and don’t let nobody, nobody tell you any differently. #thedevilisalie

As a SAHM you likely will not get a true, weekly Sabbath day of rest each and every week. If you’re anything like me, what you may get, will actually be more like a couple hours spent going to the grocery store alone or hitting the outlet store (for your kids’ back to school clothes) alone or sequestering yourself to a locked room to fold and sort laundry alone. Because (keyword) alone sometimes is better than great, and at times may be the most you can ask for, even if you’re still not ‘resting’. Face it, the days of luxurious brunches complete with mimosas may no longer be a regularly scheduled program, especially if you’re a mom to multiples.

But you know what, it will get better (or so I’ve been told) and I like to hang onto that notion. For the time being, I will take what rest (even if it’s a random hour or two caught here and there) I can get and I encourage you to do the same. The life of a SAHM ain’t easy, but it can be beautiful!

Here are some ways to get a couple of Sabbath rest (or partial-rest) hours in each week:

1. Set aside one day each week where the washer and dryer are, “out of service”.
2. Once your partner is home and everyone is settled in for the evening, take a brisk 10-15 minute walk around your block to clear your head before the bedtime ritual (ahem, no holds barred show-down) begins.
3. Get a no-chip gel manicure. This way you have to go back to the salon every couple weeks to avoid nail bed damage. This should only take about an hour or so out of your day. You’re allowed. Go enjoy!
4. Cook an easy-to-reheat weekend meal, leave detailed warming instructions for your partner and go out for a girls’ lunch date or to the gym and be sure to retreat to the steam room afterwards.
5. Get up early and do your grocery shopping solo, before the day at home begins. Enjoy the sunrise on your drive back home.
6. Institute a, “momma ain’t cooking tonight,” night and order pizza or carry-out for dinner. Leave the kiddos at home with your partner and crank the car stereo up as you drive to and from the restaurant.
7. Employ the services of a responsible neighbor teen to watch your kids play in the yard for an hour or so while go take a nice, hot, uninterrupted shower or bath (swoon!).
8. If you’re a working mom and have some compensatory time or vacation time, schedule a day-date with your partner or even take a me-day holiday while the kiddos are at their daycare services. Do something restful and restorative!
9. Create a list of things you would like to do that will bring you joy. Share it with your partner or a trusted friend or relative and enlist their help bringing them to life by caring for the kids while you go and get your happy.
10. Become a member of the 5am Club and start your morning in prayer, reflection, meditation or leisurely reading before the rest of the house starts screaming your name.

Taking time for yourself is crucial to maintaining a healthy, happy home and ensuring a sane, vibrant mama! You cannot pour into others from an empty cup. While it’s certainly easier said than done, taking a Sabbath rest (even if it’s just for a few hours) is essential.

We took this self-care and lifestyle balance inventory as a part of the presentation I attended. I recommend you take it yourself and make work-home-life balance adjustments as necessary.

How do you get in your rest? What does a Sabbath rest look like in your household?

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