She asked me if I knew how to do contour makeup.

I laughed and countered that it was a good day when I got a shower and washed my hair and shaved my legs.

She responded with a weary, yet not-too-surprised look.

By the end of the day we had spent nearly seven consecutive hours shopping, chatting, snacking and simply enjoying the day. As adults, without husbands or tiny tyrants.

The next morning, I realized that I haven’t done that since I was in school. Before husband, before kids, before career, before the life of ‘adulting’ set in.

It was beautiful.

We perused the stores and tried on clothes that we didn’t even need. I ate a meal uninterrupted, we lost track of time and I cuddled a baby that I didn’t have to bring home with me.

How many times do we hear, “Fill your cup,” “Make time for yourself,” “Have an identity beyond that of wife and mother,” in our mommy-books, personal devotions and from well-meaning others?

Often.

How many times do we actually follow that advice?

If you’re like me, probably not as often as you should.

I have proudly worn the hat of wife for the past nearly seven years and the one of mother for almost six. My husband and three kiddos are my entire world and everything I do, I do with them in mind. Even during this most recent shopping trip. On my list were Christmas gifts, a couple must-haves for their school performance, school supplies and groceries. However, after nearly seven hours in the stores, I returned home with new shoes (for me), two dresses (both for me), a scarf (again, me), a couple t-shirts (mine), a belly full of sushi (so good), and no regrets (winning!).At various points throughout the day, feelings of guilt washed over me. I had to firmly remind myself in my head, and at times aloud to my sister, that everything back home was just fine and that taking some time for myself was okay. A couple calls from my hubby, inquiring when I would return, briefly interrupted our excursion, but determinedly, we continued on. I had set the intention early in the day that I was going to enjoy being a woman, being Gabriella, not mommy, not wifey, just me, and it was an intention I was intent (no pun intended) on sticking to.

I was selfish.

It felt good.

And it was actually really good for me.

In my selfishness, I learned a few things about myself. I’ll share:

1. Actual, physical shopping is exhausting. The process of it. Scanning rack after rack, trying on this and that and this again, wondering if there’s something better at the next store, etc. However, the goodies you get to unpack at the end of a successful trip are so worth the effort!

   

2. Shopping alone while watching other mothers shop (and struggle) with their kiddos is secretly very reassuring. Because sometimes it feels like I’m the only parent who has a difficult time controlling my kids, seeing others in a similar predicament makes me appreciate the times when I too am having my own parenting fail moments.

3. I am not having any more kids. I spent the day with my sister’s 2.5 month-old son who willingly tagged along. He is so cute and cuddly and he’s at that stage where he’s beginning to respond to smiles, noises and gestures. He is cute enough to eat. I enjoyed loving on him. I enjoyed even more not having to nurse, change or take him home. I love being an auntie!

4. I have great legs and I should show them off more often. As luck would have it, my comfy, cozy, Midwestern, suburban mom apparel is not the ‘rage’ here in the festive, endless summer, beach-side city of Mazatlan, Mexico. So, I had to step outside my comfort zone quite a bit while shopping. I tried on things I normally wouldn’t even think to buy. My sis and the store clerk were quite supportive and complimentary, so, into the shopping bag a few fun items went. Now, I get to be tenaciously confident and actually wear them!

5. I absolutely love and adore my husband and kids to life and I am so grateful to have them. Being away truly gave me perspective about how life would be if certain things were (or were not) different. I enjoyed being a ‘single lady’ but I wouldn’t change being ‘married with children’ for the world!

So here I sit on the other side selfishness, enjoying my cup of coffee and writing about how great it felt to be free, how invigorating intentional me-time is, and hoping I can encourage and inspire you to take some yourself, if only for a couple hours. Don’t let me be yet another voice encouraging you to relax, relate and release.

Actually Go.

Do.

Be.

Commit to yourself right now in a meaningful way to stepping out of your comfort zone, taking a step towards rediscovering and redefining yourself as woman, as mother, as partner.

I leave you with a challenge: Leave a responsible adult in charge of your littles for a while. Go shopping. Go running. Go to the spa. Heck, go to the bathroom and lock the door put in some earbuds and take a luxurious bath and let your skin prune.

Just go and do you, boo.

Enjoy, be selfish and live a few moments strictly, entirely, and irrefutably for just you.

Oh, and tell me how it went in the comments!

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